The politicos seem pious in comparison. The financial flooding of an otherwise parched Pennagaram or the currency garland that encircled and enriched a ‘note-worthy’ neta, Maya, to name a few current cases of excess, cannot hold a candle to the vulgar parade of cash and dash at the cricketing carnival that is under way now. Clearly, the Indian Premier League has given the Indian Political League a run for its money.
Of course, things may change if one of those many political gold diggers buys a team and pitches in. There are rumours that political slush money is already at play. But even without the such players, the IPL is a curious cocktail of commerce, cricket and cinema. And with TV acting as the conduit for carrying this heady concoction to us, consumers, a great part of urban, middle-class India is likely to be on a high from long before sunset to well past mid-night, every day for at least 60 days! In the coming years, as the number of teams and matches zoom, the inebriation too will stretch longer. Needless to say, the bulk of Bharath that toils in fields and factories, has nothing to do with all the action/auction on/off the playfield.
Make no mistake, IPL is plain dope that at one stroke levels all of the nation’s brains, the best and mediocre alike, and lays them flat on a uniform platform of a futile, fitful frenzy. And it not being an occasional peg of pleasure but a staple diet, the hangover hangs like a permanent cloud overhead, with nary a respite. If you are not at the stadium, it gets to you through the telly in your drawing room. The outer spaces are not insulated either thanks to that extra finger (or the third palm) called the mobile. Indeed every mode of communication, from the hi-tech Wi-fi to the chattering FMs to the whispering gossips, carries the IPL tales in air, everywhere. So, that is the power of the idea, right? Wrong! It is called conditioning, which is what excess dose of any dope does! The monstrous marketing machinery that has been unleashed on an addicted nation has made IPL seem like the oxygen that pervades and programs life itself. The creators of this Frankenstein, however, have another nomenclature for such clinical demolition of the nation’s psyche: Brand Building.
At whose and what cost? Even the smartest of financial wizards would struggle to make sense of the financials involved in the IPL deals. The reigning jargon are ‘millions’ and ‘dollars’ that are at once a put-off from our familiar metrics of crores and rupees, that scam after scam have popularised in our minds and midst. But let’s skip that minor mental hurdle. Now, a team gets bought for a mind-numbing Rs 1800/- crores (That is $375 million converted for your convenience). So what does the buyer get for that? Not a brick, not a shovel of sand but just an abstract right to start a team that will play in the IPL. But while the buyer has ‘bought’ a team, he has to actually start building up one afresh, of course, by paying afresh for the players. A few more millions (or crores) changes hands. And God knows how many more millions would flow before the team actually hits the pitch. Now, apart from film stars and some dubious consortiums, most of the IPL team owners are publicly owned corporates. But there is no knowing if prior shareholder approval was sought or if such huge transactions were properly audited. Unlikely, considering the secrecy and speed with which the auctions happen. Also, the familiar tax-hounds who scent prey and salivate if you and I draw Rs 50,000/- from a bank (when it is not on strike, that is) somehow vanish from the scene when millions fly to and fro in a jiffy.
And behind all of these shady shenanigans is the BCCI, the entity that has used its monopoly and muscle to sell pure hot air to build a real treasure-trove in the last three years. Billions that could have built power plants, schools and hospitals instead, lie idle in the hands of a coterie, awaiting totally unproductive pastures. Now, what is the BCCI’s status as an organisation? To whom does it belong? Does it have the legal mandate to take cricket to the present levels? What is the modus operandi for the auctions? What are the credentials of the BCCI officials who dabble in astronomical sums that are not theirs? Are there proper propriety and financial audits? Are its accounts public documents, eligible for inquiry/scrutiny under the RTI act? Does the government recover the full cost of security and traffic disruption? Since the whole enterprise runs on the public appeal for a popular sport, is it not in public interest that it be regulated? Aah, the only truth that is transparent is that the team owner is no fool to buy hot air, and he recoups five to ten times more … primarily from us through exorbitantly priced ticket sales! A national weakness is exploited to boot and the exploited ones seem to care less, rather enjoy it.
We think we pay for good cricket. But do we get it? Now, I am no spoilsport. Only that I am unable to see even a semblance of sport in IPL, particularly as one match or innings overwrites the earlier one on your mental hard disk. Of course, if free-wrestling is sport, may be this too will qualify, for it is macho manliness, not the nuanced, fabled gentlemanliness, that really reigns. The players look like gladiators, out to hit the ball and if possible the bowler too. The cheer-leaders for their part have ushered in a new low… or new high, depending on which end of the skirt those cameras zoom in on. Several new paradigms, like for instance, fresh ground rules, ubiquitous logos probably even in the intestines, etc have all sent cricket for a toss. If not for the residual class and quality displayed by Kallis, Sachin plus a few, and the familiar paraphernalia of bat and ball, it is a different ball game altogether. Of course the sponsors themselves have called it entertainment, and one must take their word.
Rest assured, like with many vices, popular practice might legitimise this sweeping intoxication too. However, many sceptics have predicted that if the hype is not checked, the IPL would crumble under its own weight. One hopes it happens, for the sake of cricket, country and its cricket-crazed citizens. This national distraction deserves nemesis also for another reason: The sin of cruelty to children. The tournament runs parallel and peaks almost simultaneously with public exams and that is unpardonable.
The BCCI, Big Cricket Cat of India, needs to be belled, before it sells a team to, say, the SP or the BSP. Who will have the guts to bowl at Maya, if she chooses to play, which sure as hell, she will?
e-mail the writer at [email protected]
