Rain or shine, polls are a pain

You cannot really call it the phoenix of Indian politics. Sure, the Third Front rises everytime it is relegated to oblivion, yet a comparison to that eminent bird of resilence would seem odious for the simple reason that the latter at least rises from its own ashes. The former simply creates itself in a vacuum and becomes one faster than it materialised, but not before giving the creeps to a nervous nation that is already suffering from lingering nightmares of their inglorious past.

One need not really pay much heed to these transient political bubbles, but then in this very disillusioning world of politics, these elements create so much optical illusion that mole hills look like mountains and the impossible seems to be happening. By the time the mirage exits, one is left panting and rubbing one’s eyes in disbelief.

It very nearly happened again. For a painfully tortuous moment in the nation’s history, last month, it almost looked certain that the Third Front would make it to the helm and tragedy of tragedies, there were even suggestions of a Left led government headed by the permanent-PM-in-waiting, Jyoti Basu.

Mercifully, nothing of that sort happened and the country got a reprieve, thanks to Sonia and Surjeet scuttling such plans, from outside and inside respectively. Yet the brush with disaster was so close and it was as if Shaktiman had plucked us out just from the edge of the precipice.

Well, you may wonder why I should be raking up such unsavoury memories and be dishing out mood-spoilers, when one has just begun enjoying one’s holidays in the hope that such dangers are a thing of the past. Frankly, it pains to play spoilsport but a weekly magazine has done just that by reporting some six months in advance that the next Parliament is also likely to hang.

And when Parliaments get hung, vacuums develop and when vacuums develop, Third Fronts appear and when that happens logic and propriety disappear and finally all hell breaks loose. Not the kind of sooth-saying one is longing to hear, even if he be a diehard pessimist. I, for one, fervently wish that these pollsters get kidnapped by Veerappan and are eventually roasted over his campfire on a moonless night, but it seems a remote possibility as it is already housefull out there in the jungle, what with all those swarming hostages.

But an even better way of getting back at these doomsday prophets is by ensuring that they are proved wrong as happened last time around when all pollsters looked like mere pranksters with their predictions in tatters. It can happen if the voters follow the simple prescription that is recommended in the following paragraphs.

It is somewhat akin to the AIDS campaign which runs thus: Promiscuity is bad but cannot be avoided. So, as a minimum precaution use a you know what to prevent AIDS. Now let us take a leaf. All politicians are corrupt, self-seeking and detestable, there is no escaping their clutches and there is no choice too.

So elect the one candidate or party, that can ensure that there are no elections for a few more years at least. Here is where the spoil-sportsters’ premature predictions come handy. Whether one believes these cursed pundits or not, one has to reckon with the bad tidings and it is always better to put a few stitches in time rather than rue over fractures in future.

Having been forewarned, it would be in the realms of prudence to ensure that the fracture happens in any one of the two major arms in the race in such a way that there is no room for a third arm to creep into the gap.

The coming polls can be converted into a watershed, if only for the simple reason that it has given the final burial to the Third Front, the dustbin of all junk parties that neither have a worthy ideology nor any national relevance.Sure, there are such things as federalism and regional aspirations which the floating members of the Third Front claim to represent, but then you don’t complain of toothache and sore throat when the heart is sinking.

When the whole itself is in trouble, who can worry about the parts? When the nation’s economy, which is paramount and its integrity, which is supreme, are all in dire straits, where is the question of pampering to petty local interests? In any case, the idea of regional aspirations being purveyed by the local satraps who invariably dominate the Third Front, are nothing but unabashed attempts at self-preservation and have nothing to do with genuine concerns for the welfare of the people.

But there is one permanant member of this impermanent set-up, who needs special mention–the Leftists. The Communists along with the aforementioned transit passengers who jump in and out of the bandwagon depending on how close Destination Power is, have wreaked so much havoc on the polity and caused such crippling confusion in governance, all from within, that the country needs no enemies.

Though fortunately, recent elections have seen an erosion in their Parliamentary strength, they are yet to be completely weeded out as even a semblance of their presence can tilt the democratic scales toward disaster, with no real accountability accruing to them.

There is nothing positive about their presence but their negative vote can devastate the nation. For, unlike in mathematics, in politics, zeroes do add up to something if they happen to be members of Parliament, present and voting on a crucial day.

The forthcoming elections perhaps afford the best and probably, the last opportunity, for the people to bid farewell to the Third Front. The country for the first time in its political history is witnessing a direct contest between two Prime Ministerial aspirants, a sort of Presidential poll built into a Parliament election.

Whatever the virtues and short-comings of the contestants, it makes sense to choose between the devil and the deep sea. There is no point in adding to the choice and thereby to the confusion, by introducing the noose too. Voting for any Third Front, existing or prospective, besides, being a waste of franchise would also be tantamount to insulting the nation. For, we cannot any longer be silent spectators to the agonising spectacle of tenders being floated to fill the PM’s chair.

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