Thanks to an eventful world this week, a stroll through the global streets looks quite in order. The latest will be dealt with first though this has got nothing to do with the discrediting of the first-in-first-out norm. I told you I am going global and so none of the local 2G stuff though India and its infirm leadership may well figure.
The end game:
In fact, we shall be taking off from New Delhi. I am quite surprised why MSingh has still not called for peace talks with Pak. I expected him to do so within minutes of Osama’s killing. Now that our explosive neighbour has been proven beyond all reasonable and unreasonable doubts as a whole time terror State, does it not make sense to launch a fresh ‘peace offensive’, in tune with his now practised and perfected philosophy of prostrating in Pak’s presence before one can say ‘jihad’? Does not Pak deserve all the more reverence for its gall in playing host to the world’s most wanted terrorist right in the vicinity of its capital and even bluffing its mighty benefactor Uncle Sam for well over a decade. More so when we have ourselves de facto ceded a great part of Kashmir, India’s crown, as PoK to Pak, rendering it not just foreign soil but also a secure haven for jihadis to launch attacks against us and the rest of the world? In any case, has not our PM repeatedly acknowledged Pak as a victim of terror on par with us, ignoring the glaring fact that the ‘terror’ faced by Pak is actually akin to bombs blowing up in the bomb maker’s face?
So, send the diplomatic doves forthwith, Singh, and blow the peace pipe, before they blow us up! Anyway, we have little else to send, having dismantled all covert capabilities and the intricate intelligence networks that are required for a US like operation. But so what? On second thoughts, all seems not lost. I mean why not outsource our commando ops to the US? Surely, with its economy in dire straits and having lost much jobs to India, such plum contracts would be a much needed boost for America besides keeping the outsourcing scales on balance. The Seals, marines and the CIA have proved their capabilities and anyway seem to know their way around Pak even better than the Pakis. A blanket mercenary deal to bump off, say, Dawood or Hafeez Syed if and when they bump into them would be a perfect way to keep those wild west hired guns busy, now that they are free. There must however be a caveat that expressly disallows capture and handing over to India of those terrorists because our legal system is sort of tied up with Afzal Gurus and Kasabs for the next few decades or till their natural deaths whichever is earlier. Shining India can afford the bill and have its conscience clean. And a smiling Singh can keep talking peace through front, back and even TV channels. What an idea, Sardar! Make a business offer to the US straightaway, Sir! But check out if the ISI is for sale, just in case!
So with Osama literally all at sea, can the world breathe easier? Unlikely, because bin Laden has spawned a generation of bomb laden and gun laden jihadis who are spread out liberally across the world. Bin himself may have been trashed into the bloody dustbin of history but it is certain that al Queda with its fertile ideology and inflammable takers will get recycled from that bin. The raging protests and prayers on the Arab streets are a chilling preview of that prospect. Add to that the much touted Middle East revolutions of the recent past taking a religious turn, and we have a rather wobbly world in the offing. Dictatorship or Democracy, Islam is the common denominator in those well-oiled wretched lands. But Osama’s exit is no doubt a relief for journalists and columnists. The sound and spelling similarity between Obama and Osama is a potent proof-reading minefield. A simple printer’s devil can make a devil out of a saviour and vice versa and even turn history on its head. Bush vs Osama, though lacking in poetic rhyme was any day a safe option compared to Barack Osama vs Obama bin laden .. any problem with that?
Actually, I should be writing with some seriousness, but with O..bama knocking out O…er, sama? right! Osama, it is … bang at the start of the week and with the media going berserk there is very little of serious talk, rather, very little of any talk left for your Talk to talk about other than such semantic similarities and the associated perils. So let’s have it clear one last time: Obama killed Osama! Period.
A Royal spoof:
The Obama-Osama duel was preceded by a royal romantic duet in England. The British monarchy has always confounded me but the marriage celebrations of Prince William and Kate stumped me. I mean, I have no particular objection to W and K marrying each other or for that matter, whoever they choose, but I found the spectacle totally out of place in a modern milieu. Forget the visuals of the royals in fancy dress attire or the visages of self-important socialites who ‘graced’ the occasion. But how does such a parade of royalty gell with Britain’s historic claim as the sole civiliser of the world?
Such medieval madness can at least pass muster as entertainment if it was a private affair at private cost. But it appears the British taxpayers funded this entire vulgar extravaganza that got them a future Queen that they have no need or use for. But then the British royalty and Britain itself have always been parasites, historically living off prosperous colonies. The retinue of royal idlers, whom Diana reportedly described as ‘heavy furniture’, is huge and are sustained by Government grants. British business would be nowhere without the headstart gained from colonial loot. But with the empire where the sun never sets getting cut to size in the last few decades, it is twilight time for its economy. In that context, the royal show seems all the more presumptuous and even preposterous. On the flip side, many claim it was a nice distraction from the economic woes, just as America’s has taken a back seat after O..b killed O..s (I thought I was done with that trouble).
A Pope dream:
The royal wedding would have normally made any Pope squirm, not owing to the pomp but because British royals are prohibited from marrying a Roman Catholic. But Pope John Paul 11 had a saving grace come his way. He was posthumously sainted, after he was scented no doubt, because his decaying, albeit holy, corpse was dug out from the depths for the felicitation. It was another morbid medieval ritual that tested the West’s claim to modernity, particularly in the context of the Church’s stated anathema for ‘evil paganism’. We wonder what this beatification fete constitutes but we will let the latest saint rest in peace, not on secular considerations or for fear of blasphemy, but because we are at this week’s journey’s end. Also, we already have enough of Rome in Bharath.
And thus ends our virtual world tour.
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