I have always wondered where politicos derive their energy and motivation from. A well paying vocation that actually pours as you move up the slippery sleazy ladder probably accounts for that. If scandals and defeats and court cases do not deter them, surely the stakes are worthy enough and as a result, pockets have got deep enough to weather all those incidental experiences and expenses. The parallel thickening of the skin also acts as a failsafe insulation. Small wonder we see so many fossils defying normal evolutionary rules and survive in all glory.
So, granted that cash and power would spur not just a politician, but even a sloth into purposeful action. But conviction is a different ball game. Rather, to talk with conviction calls for guts. Rather, rather, to hold forth with conviction even if only to a chosen audience collected only to clap sans conscience or fear of contradiction calls for real gall. Rather, r…r, ………… (fill the blanks with as many ‘rather’s as you wish), to harangue endlessly with conviction to the world as a whole with absolute conviction particularly when the world as a whole including the speaker and his mother, plus a PM sulking in the shades, knows every word to be false, calls for really extraordinary skill and spunk.
Well, Ra(h)ul Gandhi did exactly this in just a matter of minutes as he raved (by the way, he had also shaved, probably to symbolise the change in Cong he plans to usher in) about all things under the sun, even as he kept his family’s skeletons safely in the shadows. Of course, it is quite tempting to dismiss his childish rant as just another rehearsal for an elocution contest. But the barrage of falsehoods came so thick and fast that you just cannot take it even if it is only an immature kid doing the dirty work. And not certainly when a proud, applauding mother was egging him on.
So, here is a brief bullet-point presentation of Rahul-speak along with possible doubts that may arise from the hearts of those who heard it from beyond Talkatotra Stadium, venue of the lie-fest:
- All the undoings of UPA 1 & 2 are its own. Cong and the first family have nothing to do with them. Yet, Mother never hesitated to write to the PM nor did I refrain from giving voice. I was in fact in a tearing hurry, remember.
- Party and family therefore are hands-off the scores of corruption scandals which are the Govt’s and allies’ sins. However, uncle MSingh, who ran the regime and the coalition, is an honest man. Of course, mom, me and the rest of the Mainos have never heard of corruption in our lives, let alone indulging in it. On the contrary, we have entered into an omerta agreement to fight it. Ask me the meaning of kickback or mention Bofors and my entire clan will have no answer. Our Hand leaves no fingerprint.
- Nothing could be achieved because of the opposition stalling Parli. But whatever was achieved was because of us. The veils between party and family and Government and coalition can be lifted at will, meaning, our will.
- So, it is ‘we’ who passed RTI. Long years of activism and public opinion had no part in it.
- And yes, we passed Lokpal. Anna Hazare, who?
- Cong workers should be given a voice in the party. That’s quite cosy since only family fans constitute the cadre. And quite easy too as the numbers of supporters and therefore the need for voices is dwindling while the old ones are sore.
- There must be more women, at least fifty percent of the audience, in the next meeting. Our crowd managers should ensure this. By the way, where’s Kalavathi? I totally forgot about her. How sad, the only women voter I cultivated should be left out!
- So, I declare, let there be more mahilas in Cong party itself. Fifty-fifty again. Like mom and me. Of course, Priyanka can come and bring Vadra along too, for gender balance.
- And I want a lot of new faces. See my new face? See how easily I have shed the dynastic baggage and become a legitimate Cong leader? So, heirs of trusted Congmen, just remove your face hair and you are a new face. How a close shave makes for a generational shift in Cong!
- Why harp on me becoming PM? Er, let me become an MP first. Then let there be enough MPs to make me PM. If that happens, we can always follow the Constitution, the Cong’s Constitution, by which my mother can ‘appoint’ me PM, as she did MSingh!
For more such fake pearls of wisdom, watch original speech on the tube or You Tube. Search for Rahul speech or rather, Devil’s scriptures! or rather ..well, you know!
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