I do not want to fire a blank to make a point, this week too. If I do, what is the difference between me and the elusive new 500 note? The job of a journo is to write, note or no note!
The mystery and misery of the missing 500 note remained unsolved and unresolved through the week, at least till the time of going to press – this column, I mean, not the notes; we cant print the latter much as we would like to as a public service, that is. But that would be counterfeit and so printers like us can only helplessly watch and wait with those for whom reaching the counter itself is a feat.
The obvious reason for the cash crunch is that the RBI’s ‘security’ presses are hard pressed for time and probably, paper too. But then, to note, pardon, quote a Hollywood punchline, ‘nothing is what it seems’. The well-meaning PM had proposed; but who knows who disposed? Such questions are quite natural. After all, even bankers are clueless about the massive mismatch between the print quantity claimed by the RBI and what actually came into the banking system. ‘Lost in transit’ may seem a pretty weird conspiracy theory. But, the long lag and longer lines are only pushing the needle of suspicion higher.
And why not? Cases of collusion between bankers and political/business moneybags are rife. There is hardly any notable character spotted standing in a queue, barring Rahul, who could not tell State Bank from a Swiss bank. And that too was just an insensitive one-off photo-op. Or maybe, he and his mom are really struggling for a single meal sans their cash stashes, what with Dollars, Euros and yes, Lira, too now even more taboo. Ditto with many such rich-yet-poor VIPs from various verandas and halls of fame, all of whom apparently had no noteworthy stock of the now notorious notes.
So if we put two and two together — no, make it 2000 and 2000 together, what do we get? Surely not eight 500s given the scarcity, but the dampening thought that the touted targets might have flown the coop! The whole house was set afire along with us, innocent inhabitants inside on the pretext of destroying a few fattened rodents running riot in the store for long. But as we scan the ashes we don’t see their skeletons which means the bandits and bandicoots have scooted with the loot, either much before or through the pores in the present de.M drive. Tragically, petty pickpockets are feeling the pinch!
The distinction between black and white money is, well, not exactly black and white. In a quirky economic geometry, the parallel economies mostly intersect, yielding several gray shades. Tax paid money withdrawn and withheld at home is white all the same, whatever the volume. It becomes black only if the seller of goods or services for which the ‘white’ money is spent, is not in the tax net. Add bank holidays and strikes, financial insecurity, prospect of emergencies, spendthrift spouses etc to the menu, and we have an economic diet rich in vitamin C. But suddenly, the common man’s, and particularly, the common woman’s wisdom of saving for a rainy day is deemed and declared a vice.
Aah, the rainy days and how they mimick the new 500 notes! We in Chennai are facing the driest November ever in many ways, what with mon’soon(!)’ and ‘Any time(!)’ money giving the lie to their own nature and nomenclature, while the clouds remain shut like cash counters. Parched purses and de-waterised wells are the flavours of the season. And we have the dreaded December staring at us and raring for a possible action replay!
We don’t stop breathing to save oxygen. Daily life can’t be halted with a stroke of the pen. But what a muddle: Messed marriage schedules, missed EMIs and commitments, muddied agri sector, morally shamed and psyched populace and mortally crippled trades. The last one – the hit on business – will have a cataclysmic and cascading effect, despite the official kite flying on long term benefits. For SMEs and shops, time is money and indeed, many may not be around if and when milk and honey flows.
And we hear the RBI’s presses may have given birth to near-identical twins. We now have legal counterfeit: The much awaited lone 500 rupee note has arrived with a clone and only one should survive. Even the parent can’t tell which to sell and which to kill. That partly explains the delayed delivery. What a jinx this 500 has turned out!
But let us take the pledge again: We hate terrorism, corruption, black money and fake currency. And we surely are not with the stall-warts of Parli, who only have a political stake in the pathetic plight of us, notary, er, votary public!
And many like me feel greatly embarrassed at being accidentally seen on the same page as Rahul or worse, Mamta.
So, PTO!
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