Sorry! It’s not going to be Sindbad’s saga but our own sordid stories. The adventures of the fabled sailor, the longest surviving caricature in Tamil journalism, is tempting, but with news of the government listening into everything other than the common man’s woes bugging the nation, it is wise to descend from fantasy land. Anyway thanks to readers for their suggestions: We shall certainly touch base with the likes of Alice, Snow-white, Cindrella and sundry other mythical friends from home and afar as a matter of routine henceforth.
Did I say ‘bugging’ in the para above? Well that is the operative word and the flavour of the week. Bugging! And in many a sense than is being bandied about currently. But we will begin with the real bug that is bugging public interest. So, it turns out Pranab Mukherjee had more ears listening to him than those within his immediate earshot. His one-to-one talks were actually conferences! The FM of the country has been clandestinely broadcast like an FM channel albeit to a select audience. That he is now trying to underplay the issue after complaining to the PM and then having his office swept by an independent agency is quite understandable. After all who knows what cats he had let out about those invisible listeners who apparently are his enemies couched as colleagues? But since it is likely that Pranab would have spoken in his trademark English, rather, Beng-lish, his detractors will need more than mere devices to know what P.Muk is upto. They will need translators and subtitles!
Evesdropping is a habit that is as old as the human mind. Insecurity, trust deficit and curiosity are at the core and this primitive itch to know what one is not supposed to know has kept pace with mankind’s evolution. From paleolithic cave walls to the palaces of medieval princes to the plush office panels today, all have had ears. The entire species, ranging from suspicious spouses, spying agencies, super-sensitive business interests, prying neighbours and relatives and paranoid politicos, is addicted to snooping. The unsettling reality is that privacy is the biggest myth in the modern day what with bugging devices going abegging. Keyholes have long given way to bugs that can be fitted in a button hole. I am surprised, not at the careless way in which Pranab’s ‘listeners’ had scattered around messy adhesives and sticky substances as telltale proof of their sneaky acts, but by the use of such silly technology. There are miniature gadgets and sophisticated methods, that could have kept the Pranab broadcast on air for as long as they wanted. No smart buggers, them!
But let’s get rid of the ‘bugging’ bug that has bitten us and move on to other issues bugging us currently. The evergreen corruption topic got yet another coat of black with the inclusion of one more white-dhoti politician from TN in the rainbow spectrum scandal. We always knew the financial bandwith was wide enough for all the political looters of the land to plough their own private furrows, but the instalment release of big names is, er, quite bugging and boring because we know where the trail actually ends. That’s probably why Pranab, who became FM post 2G-scandal and who may also have access to the names of the local patrons of Swiss banks, was bugged, literally and otherwise. Meanwhile, with the PM and his pals virtually putting paid to Lokpal and the monsoon Parli session getting postponed, the familiar fasting season involving bugged activists will likely begin mid-August. That gives us civil society (how sweet it sounds) six or seven weeks to binge on food, provided we can afford them. After all, the inflation bug is at its biting best and now is the right time to pass off singeing starvation as a show of sterling solidarity with any of the off-the-shelf causes like Lokpal, power supply, Sri Lankan tamils, terrorism and global warming. No matter if for those in power, the original, god-given listening device, ears, are deaf!
But while the ‘scam & fast’ serial keeps to the known script, there was a surprise on the Lokpal front. It is not often that you get to love the DMK and the Dravidian party turned out to be a temporary darling when its reps insisted that the PM should come under the purview of the Lokpal, much to the discomfort of Cong. K went one step further after stepping out of Tihar and reminded us that he had actually said, though we do not remember where or when, that even CMs should be under LP. He must be happy that on that count the TN voters too concurred and acted accordingly. But it is the PM angle that is bugging our curiosity. So what’s brewing amidst the partners of the UPA – United Plunderers’ Association? Why not K, the great scriptwriter, turn approver and tell the world the whole 2G story so that not only can he serve country but also, incidentally, get judicial relief for his kin and men now in the dock?
But MSingh must be bugged too, not just by the salvo of a desperate ally, but by the stabbing from within. He has once again been reminded by his own party that he is only a puppet regent awaiting the arrival of a prince royale. An unelected PM who staked his credibility and public goodwill to front for dubious foreigners cannot expect more. But it will rebound to his lasting shame that he had made the lofty Constitutional post of the Prime Minister to resemble one of those mofussil bus touts who spread towels on seats for prospective passengers. Incidentally, that passenger for whom MSingh is substituting, Rahul, has declared that after visiting Maya’s Uttar Pradesh, he feels ashamed to call himself an Indian. Of course, with his party alias family ruling UP for fifty years and UP PMs ruling the nation for as many years, he surely must be ashamed. But it is the ‘Indian’ touch that bugs us. If he is ashamed of being called an Indian, he surely has the choice of calling himself an Italian, what with a passport and a parallel citizenship even vouching for it. Ra(ul) vinci is no secret code but an open fact that surprisingly nobody wants to discuss. Yes, the real, wretched Indians are ashamed for that.
Bugs arose in the spiritual system too, what with Saibaba’s abode resembling Alibaba’s cave and Ramdev baba’s fast fast betraying his frail will. Sure, corrupt politicos have no business bullying, beating up and bad mouthing revered gurus, but revered gurus too have no business buying up islands, building fortunes and billing ignorant, innocent devotees for yogic and spiritual practices that historically and culturally are the nation’s treasures. Loot of public money and public faith, both bug us!
So that’s this week’s big story, namely, the bug story! And the bug stops here.
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