The World Cup offers a pretext to mix cricket and politics which are anyway rife round the calendar in this country. And, as is the flavour of the season, let’s also announce our own Dream Team India. Only that none of these players, who have Constitutional duties and protection, are actually playing for the nation, but for their own personal pleasure, power, pelf, prosperity and parivars. As a natural fallout, each individual player will doubless win, even as the nation loses. Of course, we the people remain spectators with our Cup of woes brimming over.
PM MSingh (Captain): Originally touted as a non-playing captain, it now appears MS (what coincidence for captains) is adept at playing in the shadowy shades of the pavilion. The latest S-Band is open and shut Singh-Brand, his own turf, with no ‘coalition compulsion’ to blame for. Incidentally, we now understand why this skipper consistently skipped his duties to the people, as an honourable PM and went against his own natural instincts as an ‘honest person’ and instead batted for the indefensible Raja, a former team mate. The spectrum seems wide enough for the skewed and the so-called straight alike!
Saint Sonia (Captain’s captain): She bowls from behind, bats for compatriots back home and never takes the field. Long before spectrums and S-bands, her Q-Band was a pioneer of sorts as scam records go. Her Italian connection is much talked about, but there’s rarely a word of the Swiss Connection. Her family’s wealth, stacked up over decades in that snowy, secretive nation, is not just the stuff of rumours but real investigations and exposures. Still, they remain unravelled, probably because Saints, with a dubious track record of sacrificing posts without giving up power, are deemed immune. Aah, how we wish we can hear inner voices on DTS surround!
President Pratiba Patil (Honorory Captain): Truth has a strange way of slipping out and the truth about our First Citizen that was public knowledge all along came out just recently from her own ilk. An overzealous Cong minister in Rajasthan, while addressing party cadre, exhorted them to emulate Pratiba whose enduring loyalty to Sonia now and Nehru family all through (she used to cook for Indira, we are told) earned her the post of President. Of course, the minister was sacked while PP stays put as the P. But then the nation’s Presidents have predominantly been supplicants of Congress Presidents. That the country’s foremost Constitutional post is just a petty player in the political sweepstakes is indeed a matter of profound pride!
Rahul Gandhi (Captain-in-the -works): That there is so much captain material around is typical of Indian teams. But as things are shaping up for the Grand Old Party, what with scam after scam rocking it no end, the Prince may probably have to remain in permanent probation. And there is a silver lining for him here. For while if Cong prevails it would be Rahul factor, if Cong fails, R will be factored out. He, like mom, shall come unstuck even on sticky wickets. That’s what the first family’s covenant with its kept party stipulates.
Parliament: Though this is an arena, it begs to be personified as a major player. By not functioning, no doubt. Those circular walls house nary a stalwart, but mostly warts who can only stall. And all of them, of differing hues, form one unified shouting brigade, for everything on this pitch is high pitch. That is, when they are not sitting in dharnas, breaking mikes, falling into the well or walking out … to the loo or canteen. Those members have helped themselves to much public money, officially and otherwise, with nil quid pro quo to the nation. Really, the nation is better governed if Parli is not in session!
Chief Justice: The allusion is to an Ex actually. Former CJI KG Balakrishnan became a player post-retirement. Or probably, his shenanigans while in harness came to light after he retired. Whatever, the nation’s last hope did receive a jolt when this player first played hide and seek with his own junior judges vis-a-vis the missed call affair and then got embroiled in a series of corruption and abuse of office allegations. Indeed, if the four fingers pointing inwards are not immediately addressed, the judiciary is unlikely to be a trusted player for justice it seeks to play for.
CBI, CVC and CEC: These are watchdogs. But they are sent out only as nightwatchmen to protect more important wickets from falling. They dont play for the gallery of common folk. Rather, their job is to dig in and stay put, so that the key players holed up in the cosy pavilions gain breathing time to cover up their sins. And then, on the all-clear cue from inside, the gloves come off, they bark and bite and that is surely meant for the gallery. Actually, it is these watchdogs that need watching: the CBI’s motives and methods in every case warrant searching inquiry; one has to be vigilant against our Vigilance Comm’r Thomas and of course, CEC Navin Chawla is the best insurance for the UPA, come polls anytime.
Rational Parivar: It is always family first with First Families everywhere. In this rational land, it is also a question of which one. The Rational One manages the quandry by accommodating all of the first blood. The rational co-borns who are declared ‘deemed blood’ or ‘blood’s blood’ through stirring speeches and pompous prose, however, have their own blood sucked out. Ditto with people’s blood too. As they turn pale and filthy the rational kin however get hale and healthy. Now, will that roaring rhetoric not make for a nice screen script?
The opposition: It is an amorphous and abstract mass of disparate elements itching to bat. To that purpose, they egg the galleries on with gestures and gimmickry from the green outfields. Stupid spectators too believe that the grass is green on the oppn side and favour them. The fact is whoever bats, it is the people who have to run for cover!
Media: This twelfth man is supposed to linger on the sidelines but is really all over the place. A terrible distraction and a mighty public nuisance, this noisy and nosey quasi-player does have a residual value. Still, that is no justification for the attention it demands. On the outskirts, it must remain!
Now, did I say Dream Team? Well, make it Nightmare Team as the nation’s fate looks fixed!
Sorry for the delay:
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That oft-quoted author will have to remain under wraps as readers wanted one more week of guessing. I am happy that many are reading up, or at least, googling or wikiing. But I am also worried, really worried, now. But here’s one more from our anonymous friend: ’ …. entrusting the nation to such people is akin to leaving the goat to take care of the garden’
Heed that and beware of our Nightmare Team!
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| Corrigendum : Many readers have pointed out the wrong reference to the CEC in Pointblank. I had meant only Navin Chawla, but failed to refer to him in the past tense, as I had done with the ex-CJI. I apologise for the error and thank the diligent readers. -T R Jawahar |