No one wants his/her pocket picked. Or property trespassed or grabbed. Nor, for that matter, would anyone look forward to getting murdered, assaulted, raped or in any way violated, physically, financially or emotionally, though the last one is tenuous territory. Being a victim of crime hurts in many ways and often leaves an inerasable mark, if not on the physique, at least on the psyche. Reason why legal luminaries hold that ‘a system of penal law is more important than even constitutional law’.
Really? Such assumptions seem passé in India with the very character of crime begging a relook. Of course, the history of criminology shows that the nature of crime has been changing with the times as also with the evolution of law. Old crimes have exited and new ones have entered the arc. But with our lawmakers topping the charts as law breakers, our country is now on the cusp of a momentous ‘Criminal Revolution’, warranting a complete overhaul of penal laws to suit the current crime climes. Some suggestions:
We will start from where we started: Pick Pocket. Frankly, I pity those who indulge in this rather risky vocation. And a very fruitless one these days, what with diminishing returns owing to purse owners switching from hard cash to harder plastic and ritzy hardware. Of course, if luck smiles one can still land a juicy wallet but that’s somewhat like fishing … all of patience and perseverance. And when caught, as happens if cops too have a dry day, our pathetic protagonist is punished disproportionately, thrashed around and trashed as social garbage, all for a few petty pennies.
But can all these penny ‘pinchers’ of the land collectively hold a candle to the suave politico who plunders the public pocket with such panache that none ever feels it? And what to say of the penny-wise-pound-foolish people who still hold the private pocket picker a greater personal peril? This when we have knowingly handed our treasury to the slick politico, while no such trust and courtesy are extended to the blade-runner scouting our backs! Legal equity and even-handedness demands that, since no politico is ever nabbed for stealing, a pickpocket too should never be apprehended. Ditto with petty thieves.
While on the subject of political thefts, let’s ponder over some problems. The scam-a-day diet has caused acute indigestion. Kejriwal and the media wallahs must know that overdose could kill the patient, meaning, citizens. Scams are fine, but a minimum gap between two scams must be stipulated in public interest. And no underdose of just a few lakhs or crores either. Even central ministers feel insulted. So, a CAG certification should be mandatory for any exposure. That is the only outfit that talks in a range that can enthuse and entertain people and ensure good TRP.
Leave the elusive Lokpal, even existing anti-corruption laws need a revamp. The Prevention of Corruption Act is useless. Forget lofty legalese, even elementary English says that a scam that has happened has actually escaped prevention and so a Prevention Act loses jurisdiction and cannot be invoked. Given that no scam is ever prevented, why such laws at all? And since, there is no retribution post corruption either, is it not wise to have an official rate card for sleaze befitting political stature? Plus a round robin routine so that corruption gets egalitarian? I also propose a reverse amnesty scheme to convert the people’s paltry white money into black and an agreement with the Swiss Government to send us at least chocolates if it is unwilling to part with our country’s cash.
Land grab was perfectly legit all through history. Only that it went under the names, ‘liberation’, ‘conquest’ ‘colonialism’ etc. But today an ordinary citizen cannot walk into a neighbour’s home or farm without being accused of trespassing. Outrageous. It’s God’s earth and anyone can tread anywhere one pleases, public or personal property no matter. Doubters can ask Rob, a very private citizen like you and me but a privileged one, unlike you and me. Now, if a son-in-law of a neo-coloniser can have such freedom of choice and movement across all he can survey, can’t the sons of the soil too turn the law unto themselves? What is Haryana and DLF for him can’t be never-never-land for us! So all property laws should be amended forthwith so that no land-grab suit ever sullies our sacred soil. Even the pious BJP would happily endorse such changes, given current trends.
Rape has to be de-criminalised right away. If some ruling politicos are right, most rapes are actually either consensual episodes or the victims’ fault. So, the wails of a woman or her flailing arms are to be deemed signs of acquiescence. And bad dressing in public is an invitation! Bharath ‘mata’ ki jai! Ha, how many rapists have been unfairly condemned for no crime! In Haryana, where men have been grabbing women with the same gusto as they grab land, food like noodles are blamed for turning good men into rapists. Now, how do you hang noodles, of all things? Rape should, therefore, be off our law books … if wolfish men are to remain ‘legally’ chaste!
Readers can make their own wish-lists. But finally I suggest deletion of the word ‘crime’ from legal as well as laymen’s lexicons. That seems the only way we can have a ‘crime-free’ society!
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