The Western stereotype has always identified our nation with squalor, filth, civic disarray and social backwardness. But even such a dirty picture of India pales before the dirtier self-portraits on parade. Here are a few unflattering samples:
Parli Unplugged:
With the winter session catching the FDI chill, the bulk of legislative business has already gone into cold storage. It is now safe to assume that once the ice between the warring parties thaws, most of these bills will be passed without as much as a discussion, probably with the minimal attendance and invariably at twilight time when even shepherds and their flock would be itching to get back home. The law may take its own dreary course, but apparently law making happens in quick time. Now, this should not be mistaken for our reps being so dutiful that they are working overtime. Nor is it to be taken as a measure of their intelligence in understanding complex law in a jiffy. Rushing through with blind eyes and all ayes actually would leave the MPs with many full days, for skipping to recoup or for shouting-practice, ahead of the chart-busting Lokpal ‘climax’ slated for the last week of the session. What’s uglier: a dysfunctional Parli or a ‘functioning’ one? But the ‘breaking news’ on TV screens that Parli will start functioning was definitely dirty!
Whitewash over black tar:
It is a tragic irony, though not surprising for many skeptics like me, that the most touted honest man had delivered the blackest regime in India’s corruption history. And when a betrayed nation rose up to avert further tarring by fighting for a Lokpal, the clean man, instead of cleaning up the house, took to unleashing dirty tricks and slinging his stock-in-trade mud at the campaigners, besides doing his worst to delay any legislation. But despite all his Kill-Bill plots, the Lokpal is likely to see the light of the House at least, thanks to Anna and his pals.
And that may just be the start of the journey, for all we know. An untrustworthy regime would already have thought up enough road blocks and red-herrings. The whole FDI ruckus itself was an effective decoy that gave the Government precious time to cook up a draft. Again, the official version, as is doing the rounds, is a woeful whitewash, virtually overstepping all the concerns that matter. The question of whether the PM should be under the purview of the Lokpal has been left to the wisdom of the House. Our contention is that this PM should certainly be, but let that rest. Can’t the drafting team at least make a recommendation? Filtering out the lower bureaucracy is another seed, planted with an eye on debate, discussion and then disruption and delay. That there could be a Lokpal wherein the most responsible person and the most dealt with persons are sought to be excluded is a complete mockery of public opinion and interest. Now, which is murkier, corruption or the dirty cover-ups?
Centre Cornered:
India’s FM Pranab Mukherjee announced. Bengal’s CM Mamata Bannerjee denounced. Mukherjee seemingly stood firm. Bannerjee then shook the foundation. Now, M.jee begged. But B.jee sulked. Then there was some loud chatter from the two jees. Eventually, this time, Bannerjee announced and Mukherjee demurred not an ounce. That was how the pompous FDI policy pronounced by the Centre got trounced by a State chieftain. Welcome to ‘federal’ India where the Centre does not hold even as States make bold.
Elsewhere, in Kerala and TN, as the Mullaiperiyar row hottens the Centre is nowhere in sight. The border between the two States is getting worse than the LoC. But beyond asking the two ‘warring’ parties to ‘settle the issue amicably’, when the prevailing mood is one of settling scores, MSingh has little to offer. His stupidly sanguine tone gives the impression that he is talking of West Asia crisis or Korean disputes. Reality is that, his regime, vested with safeguarding the unity, integrity … you know all that stuff …, is clueless and ineffective. With the Constitutional adjudicator scooting, small wonder States cock a snook at the Centre and even pass laws to challenge SC verdicts. State over the Union, that is the state of the union. Not a pretty picture surely.
Sibal’s no-ball:
No doubt, social media is intimidating as it is intoxicating. The whole world is worried over the free-for-all on the web world. And the whole world knows that it cannot be controlled nor does it make sense to. An individual’s restraint is the only anti-dote and it can neither be expected nor enforced. More so on a medium that is ever in flux and so high tech that hardly anyone has any grip or grasp of it at any point. Officialdom can at best throw a blanket firewall, as China does, but that comes at a heavy price in terms of freedom of expression and image. Constant cautioning, not circumcision and censorship, is the only option. That being so, zero-loss fame Sibal’s attempted googly at Google & Co has no doubt boomeranged.
It is not that the lawyer-minister is naive. So why then the display of naivette? Aah, when Cong or the Government springs from paralysis, there can be only one provocation: The First Family or rather, The Family first. Sonia, Rahul and other members of the Janpath household were recently the subject of much hate exchanges and morphed dirty pictures on the web. And suddenly Sibal and his cabal are worried stiff about the cultural ethos of the country! Of course, we are sorry for them as we are for the scores of the nation’s subjects who are routinely subjected to such scurrilous smut online. But lesser mortals as we can only wait for the web storm to blow over which happens quickly as web-stories are short lived and have no shelf life. Whereas, bigger reputations warrant policy changes! Add to it the threat by wikileaks to release names of foreign account holders from India, and the picture gets dirtier.
Dirty damsels sell:
I was stumped by a primetime debate on the The Dirty Picture, the bare-all biopic of southern siren Silk Smitha. The panelists were at pains to pass the movie as some kind of landmark in women’s emancipation and also project the celebrated celluloid vamp as a cerebral champion of women’s rights. Well, Smitha never intended or claimed to be one, for sure. While the travails of Silk and her ilk are quite touching, the present movie is no homage but a crass commercial attempt to exhume and exploit her sex appeal. Old wine in a more transparent bottle. After all, TDP is a movie meant to titillate. Why intellectualise it? So, many of us, the youth of the eighties, were only honing our intellect and storming our brains when we ogled on the sly at the sensuous lips and swaying hips of that starlet. Aah, that makes us truly a nation full of intellectuals!
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