A pre-existing health condition is a disqualification for even a mundane thing as an insurance policy. But no such precautions are deemed necessary before vesting a country’s fate with individuals past their prime, at least in terms of their health. Small wonder that in ancient and eternal Bharath, PMs, CMs and prospective PMs well past seventy-five believe they have a ‘future’. We wish the geriatric club well and in any case, do not grudge them for the Maker’s gift of a long life. After all, Mr M is the sole arbiter of when He would want to meet you, which could be anytime, and it is not for us, mere mortals, to fix ‘dead’lines! Still, aged or ailing politicos, popular ones or those in power, offer ample scope for a very entertaining spin off: Rumours!
‘Reports about my death are greatly exaggerated’, announced Mark Twain after rumours raged that he had kicked the bucket, though still alive and kicking. Another writer wanted his remaining subscription amount back from a newspaper which had published his ‘death’. There are scores of instances of VIPs and politicos ‘dying’ in the media and then surfacing to read their own obituary. Leaders like Charles de Gaulle and Hitler, who were perennial targets of assassins would have died a thousand deaths before that final fatal fall, which, incidentally, needed no aid from any assassin. Cuba’s Fidel Castro has consistently survived rumours to live on as do Osama bin laden and Prabakaran, and the rumours too never seem to say die. Indeed, such rumours are also great survivors.
India has had its share. The most memorable death-that-was-not was that of Lok Nayak Jayaprakash Narayan. Morarji Desai’s Janata Government of 1977 vintage which owed its victory over Indira’s Congress to JP had to face the ignominy of ‘prematurely’ announcing the death of its mentor in no less a place than in the Parliament of the nation. If I am not mistaken, homage was also paid on the floor of the House, after which there was an adjournment too. Well, JP was quite alive, if not kicking, in Jaslok Hospital and survived the ‘official’ rumour to die a ‘natural’ death later. And it is not known if Parli reconvened as the MPs would have scooted by then, like MPs of all times do. Netaji’s death remains a mystery till date. While he would doubtless remain immortal in a metaphorical sense, till a decade back rumours abounded about his surviving that famous air-crash. The rumours have stopped only because Netaji would have died by now, by a logical biological process. But the Nehru clan posed an irony of sorts. Jawaharlal’s unexpected death and the violent end of Indira, Rajiv and Sanjay made the real news seem like rumours!
For those who believe rationalism and rumour (paguththarivu and purali) do not gel, think again. The Dravidian demi-gods have had their trysts with rumours before actually meeting their ‘non-existent’ maker. Anna died around this time of the year precisely forty years back. But a national news agency declared him dead a few days ahead. The story, which was what it was, was withdrawn soon enough, but not before the State was shaken up a bit. For three years between 1984 and 1987, MGR kept everyone guessing about his health on a regular basis, till finally he died without notice. In that period, everytime he was felled by a rumour, he would rise again alive, in tune with a famous song of his: Naan Seththu Pozhaichchavan da, meaning, I have died and survived! Quite recently, another national news agency announced the death of the then Union Minister (NDA!) Murasoli Maran along with a glowing obituary. The agency killed … the story quickly and quietly. Maran actually took his time!
But by far the greatest survivor … of rumours would be Kalaingar K. The Republic Day last week was made memorable by more than one reason. While the parade by-passed MSingh in Delhi, K too could not take the salute owing to a ‘sudden’ backache. And why not? He had sat through the whole of Saturday listening to three shifts of back-breaking flattery not to speak of bearing the burden of the entire world Tamil fraternity on his tender back. Hospitalisation was inevitable but then it also set off a flurry of ‘fatal’ rumours that died only after the official family channels confirmed to the contrary. But then this is not new to K, as he has lived through several such ‘grave threats’ to his life. For us in TN, it is deja vu, all too often. And worse, trying to trace the ‘origins’ of such rumours would be most embarrassing! But then the unfortunate who had immolated before Chennai’s Shastri Bhavan had accused K of landing in hospital only to sidestep the SL issue in the Assembly and beyond. Now, let’s not believe such rational rumours!
Not all rumours are morbid dead or alive matters. There is a host of long surviving benign rumours in TN and the rest of India. Take for instance Rajinikant’s entry into politics. It is a rumour that has outrun his films! And the superstitious superstar does not scotch it either, keeping the flame of hope alive in his inflammable fans. Or the one about Jaya and Sasikala parting ways. This is one alliance J has never walked out of despite the best wishes of most around her. And the tale of two sisters goes on! In more recent times, we often hear dire warnings of DMK ministers quitting the central cabinet on some issue or the other. Well, the power blocks in the capital have room only for Baalus, not for such rumours! And how about the greatest judicial rumour of our times: Law will take its own course. Has it ever, w.r.t the powerful looters who lord it over the nation? Or the national boast that India will not be cowed down by terror, a bluff that even a just-born jihadi can blow off? Aah, the last one is a rumour that humours none!
But what’s in a rumour without the media sponsoring it? Rather, are we not the fountainhead often? In print, it used to be called flash news. But this has been taken over by the flashier journalistic jargon, Breaking News. Only that most of such news goes broke on truth in moments with nary a ticker line acknowledging the mistake, a privilege that those of us in print do not possess. So next time we wrongly announce the death of a politico how do we make amends? Ideally, ‘we regret to inform the world at large that the one we declared dead yesterday is actually alive and at large. Our apologies to the readers …’. But if we were to set right the printers’ devil thus, the political ones would be upon us and we would be dead in an instant, instead. And trust me, that would be no rumour!
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