Roman emperor Claudius, who believed that married men made for bad soldiers, passed a law prohibiting the youth of his land from entering wedlock. And enter, St Valentine; the priest presto went on a marriage spree, arranging clandestine weddings for love-lorn couples. He was arrested soon enough and put to death, but he lives on as a martyr for romance. The hand-drawn pictures of the bearded bloke, however, look anything but romantic, but he probably had a heart that melted at the sight of jilted lovers. Sure, there are a variety of Valentines in history and various versions too, but the aforesaid V and his ‘invaluable service’ to the cause of humanity, looks the most handy, not just for those bitten by that dangerous bug but also to the legions of marketeers purveying and pushing products ranging from jewels, cards, bouquets to bands! Wonder how St V missed being a mascot for Viagra!
Having thus bestowed all that borrowed enlightenment on self and society, the question lingers: What has politics got to do with such finer things as romance? Well, as Perry Mason would have put it, I hope to connect it all up, hon. readers! But you will have to wait for para 3 for that. For I am not as yet done with the subject of V — Valentine, not Viagra — and para 2 is still very young. Now, cut to the present. Love is in the air virtually, thanks to all those FM channels and Satellite TV whose endless entreaties ensures that not a soul passes Feb 14 without at least a wink; and let me assure you, those DJs and VJs are hugely successful in their holy venture of parading and promoting promiscuity. The print media for its part delights in providing sensuous tips that can trip even saints (ie., other than St V, who already knew all the tricks). And then there are the endearments via SMS from mobile phone companies and sundry other samaritans that have all made Valentine’s worldview so commonplace that the exalted ‘I love you’ would soon replace the everyday ‘Good Morning’ or ‘Nice weather’ or even ‘Hello’ as the opening line in any conversation.
Indeed, be an individual single or coupled, life has been made to look downright worthless if one is not in love, with a consort or any sort, for that matter, at least for a few hours. In fact, you may even get sponsors who will bring to you that part of love, besides a gift hamper; you can then take home … the gift, leaving your love behind, but you would have served the memory of St V, which is most vital in these trying times.The euphoria is all-inclusive; many parents of teenagers who used to be aghast at their wards being lured by the stupid Cupid, are themselves hooked now. Smart marketing whizkids have created V-packages for all ages and sizes, marital-status being no bar. And surprisingly, the usually viscious anti-Valentine vigilantes too have toned down their volume! Busy probably bashing up north Indians or worse, sending flowers, having themselves been overwhelmed by the pressure of passion. If so, should not the Raj Thackerays be promoting the desi version, who, with his ubiquitous flower-decked bow and arrow had toiled longer than St V to network separated souls?
See the connection? Ha, love has led to politics, as I promised, and we are, as you would have realised, come to Para 3, though P 2 had gobbled all of a column and more. Now, romance may be the flavour of the week all around, but in politics, particularly in rational TN, estrangement looks to be the order. Much married political partners are straying apart and even strange bedfellows are lying back to back, but without exactly alighting. Come polltime, the mating season would commence in right earnest, but for now the filial bickerings are at a peak
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Polygamous DMK is paying the price for being wedded to one too many partners. With each one tugging and often pulling at the delicate alliance chords, the ruling party is truly at the end of its tether. With its prime ally Congress unwilling to shed its suspicions over the DMK’s tiger-riding pastime of the past, K is truly hardpressed to prove his fidelity. Again, the Left, notwithstanding its own sordid track record in Nandigram, nonchalantly rakes up the deteriorating L&O situation in the State, but the usually quick-witted K takes it all lying down. But the Kaikeyi of the plot is doubtless Ramadoss. K- Karunanidhi, not Kaikeyi, that is – must be ruefully recalling his mentor Anna’s famous dialogue in a movie: A chaste wife will even murder! Now, the PMK by no means is politically chaste, but that’s unlikely to stop the maruththuvar from seeking divorce as well as drawing blood. Poor K has little choice but to seek solace in preview theatres and felicitation fetes!
AIADMK’s J or rather, J’s AIADMK is currently a loner, if one ignores Vaiko. Some traditions dub the V-Day as ‘Singles Awareness Day’ and the AIADMK is doubtless conscious of its own political isolation. The DMK’s adulterous allies may be quarreling with their common spouse, but they sure are in no mood to elope with the AIADMK, having become wiser through painful past marriages. J, in sheer desperation, did float a third front six months back, promising to keep both the Cong and BJP at arm’s length. Political pundits predicted that the doomed third front would collapse soon. They were wrong. It collapsed very soon. The partners of the mass marriage went their own ways after posing for press photographers. The BJP which was supposed to be at arm’s length, is now itching for an embrace, despite being fatally hen-pecked in 1999. That may be in keeping with the spirit of Saint V, for political love is never lost, but what of the spirit of the saints of Kanchiwhich was violated in the most venal and vindictive manner?
And then there are the two eligible political bachelors, V.Kanth and S.Kumar. After having beaten around the bushes and bamboo trees with bewitching belles on screen, the two are now busy romancing the voters. The Captain, particularly, has remained steadfast on his political celibacy, but the lure of Lady Power, the most sought after Valentine of all politicos, can test anyone’s will. Whither, V.Kanth?
Moral of the story: There are better ways to celebrate V-Day than having a cynical columnist politicising it all!
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