“But uncle, why are you so stubborn on choosing only ‘girls college’ for your daughter? Why can’t you consider her choices too?” – I butted in through the important family talk in which discussions were going on for choosing the ‘best college’ for my cousin.
Yes, the plus-two board results were out a week back. This is that time of the year where all parents go into a huddle to choose a good college for their child.
So, coming back to our discussions, “Choosing the right college for your child is important that, too, when she is a girl. You are a journalist and I’m sure you must come across a lot of crimes against women happening in day-to-day life. At this time, I can’t risk her life by making her study in a co-education college. Girls’ college must be safer for her” – This is what a parent who is about to get a seat for her daughter in a women’s college says. Not only she but this is the mindset of a section of the people, even in Chennai.
If you are surprised let me tell you this mindset prevails among parents – yes my people, it is there.
I would say, as a parent, it is your responsibility to show the reality of the world to your child. Show them the world as it is, make them face everything, feed them the courage and fierce self-confidence to face society, and let them decide to study what they are passionate about.
Instead, what you do is cowardice. This is not about giving them a safe environment. This is about letting them balance the gender gap vs pushing them into peer pressure. I accept that there are crimes against women. But this has nothing to do with co-education college or a women’s
college.
WIDENING GAP
I am sure that everyone must be aware of this. Some engineering colleges, though being co-education, enhance the gender gap with their humiliating rules and regulations. I know colleges that don’t even allow girls and boys look at each other.
If at all they find a girl talking to a boy, both their parents are informed immediately and they are humiliated by the professors in front of everyone.
To those college managements, trust me, you are creating a huge gender gap. A relationship becomes complicated only when it was given too much importance. And this ‘gap’ is the reason for most crimes, I would say.
DID YOU DO THIS, PARENTS?
To all parents sending your daughter to college this year – sit with your child first. Make her talk about her passion, goals, life target or whatever. Let her decide what she wants. After this, give her your (genuine) suggestions. Make her know about all the choices that are available beyond the same-old engineering courses (unless your daughter really has a passion for
engineering!).
Post-discussion, if you think your daughter is choosing some risky courses, explain to her all the difficulties. Make her believe that she is responsible for her own decision and no one can be blamed in the future. Once you make her feel confident about her decision, believe me, parents, she can survive ANY situation.
She will be safe in ANY environment. She will manage ANY kind of problems. So, it’s time to spend time with your daughter.
Please note that this applies to your sons, too. The special mention about daughters is only because of the mindset of some parents that “These are courses for men”, “Women’s college is the only safe place for girls.”