Chennai: “Do you know that how you will handle pressure in your life is decided by how you hold the oil in your palm without spilling it,” says 80-year-old, Kamala Shanmugam.
Deepavali is a festival of joy and sharing. But in recent years, many would have heard, “It doesn’t feel like Deepavali month.” So, is the joy of the festival is fading? If yes, why? Old-aged people share their vivid memories of Deepavali time.
“Most of our customs are proven scientifically healthy and Deepavali traditional is one among them. My most memorable was my Thala Deepavali. Though we were not that rich in those times, we were happy with what we had. I still remember when my husband got me a silk saree for Rs 18. You can feel the softness of the saree and it was very light. In those days, sarees above Rs 20 are considered costly and he got another saree for my mother-in-law for Rs 22,” Kamala chuckles.
Kamala who is basically from Karaikudi, got married to Shanmugam and settled near Kumbakonam. Now her entire family is in Chennai. Going back to the old days, she says, “Me and my mother-in-law will not sleep for at least one week. All nights we will be into sweet preparations. We will have huge bronze vessels and we won’t stop until all of them get filled. Indirectly, sweet preparation is a family’s pride.”
“On the festival day, all guests will visit our house and we will have traditional ‘Namaskaram ceremony’. Not withstanding the number, we have to fall in everyone’s feet and get blessings from them,” she recalls.
“I have six children and just think how would the festival days be with them. One will be moody, another will be hyped, some will be naughty and I have to take care of everyone. We will start shopping for our children at least one month back. Segregating the dresses, accessories, crackers for them itself is a big process. Even if I think about it now, I don’t know how I did it,” Kamala says.
BAKSHANAMS BROUGHT US TOGETHER
Megala Narayan, another senior citizen in the city, says, “Deepavali means Bakshanams. We used to prepare the recipes and discuss it with our relatives and friends. This brought all of us together. Ours is a big family and I’m just stunned thinking about the quantum of sweets made by the elders at home, without even the luxury of LPG in those days.”
“However, I feel the children are not so fascinated by the crackers now; they rather sit glued to the TVs and cell phones. And the elders are also so diet conscious that they do not enjoy the sweets and snacks as much as we did earlier.”
SHARING IS MISSING
“The one thing that is absolutely absent is exchanging of the homemade bakshanams with the neighbours. What a fun it was to take the thambalam with sweets to neighbours, cladded in a crisp new saree/paavadai, walking zig-zag avoiding the crackers and return home with the bakshanams of their home and enjoy comparing and contrasting the preparations of our home,” says Megala.

