I feel all tipsy. No, I did not visit the spiritual, pardon, spirited tourist spots of our towns here, namely, Tasmac. Blame it rather on the topsy-turvy twists and turns of TN’s tinsel politics. Now if your head doesn’t spin at the tamashas in this theater, then it is your sobriety that is in doubt. A normal person should feel tipsy. Here’s how.
Statutory warning: Getting drunk on a fateful issue as polls is not injurious to an individual’s health. No matter, if the fun is fatal to public finances. Why bother if we could land some hard currency besides a couple or more of household items that are safe for use as long the power is off? Any way, it is our money, right, and so what’s the fuss if the stolen funds are funnelled back through any channel? As it goes, so it comes, if not fully though. No drunken drool, that. Perfect sense. Only naysayers should take a breathalyser test.
Here, get dazed some more. The estimated inflow into this rain-ravaged economy this election season is Rs 10,000 crs. Water dilutes. But floods have made the freebie cocktail stronger. Every home has lost something, at least a sofa set. The demand is high, the supply infinite. The Election Commission has no business meddling with this divine democratic deal between politicos and people. Free and fair? Blah, that’s plain foul, denying our due. If the EC were a political party I wouldn’t vote for it. The flying squads have so far netted Rs 15 cr, a fraction of a fraction of a fraction, but still ours. By the way, do they check inside the non-rolling middle tyres of six-wheel trucks? No air or rubber there, but stacks of …. Hell, I ratted! Sorry, dolemates.
So on the subject of the aforesaid ‘fund’amental right, we will keep our fingers crossed. No, make that ‘palms open’. Positive thinking. Now, let’s move from stashes of cash to hazier stuff. Do other teetotalers, which includes those teetotaling for at least the last seven days, see what I see? Okay, let me clarify my confusion. Why is it that those who appear conspicuously at the front of the three main Fronts do not seem like the real ones in the front? Why do I get the suspicion that those in the front are only, er, fronts, and the real power wielders are waiting in the shadows, only to emerge in the front once those fronting have done their bit? Got it? I promise I did not touch even soda!
Suppose DMK alliance wins. K at 93 will create a fresh record as six-time CM. Once the familiar, famed flattery fraternity is done with a flurry of felicitation functions, it would be time for the front to step back and the one behind to emerge in the front. This could happen through the Makers will, a mellowed K’s own will, a makeshift arrangement or a messy coup. There is the issue of issues, not to mention mothers, but the Rising Son, impatient under a cloud instead of a crown for long, can be trusted to outshine.
J has no such irksome ‘issues’. But there is her Udan Pirava Sahodhari – UPS – who has charged her up even when official power was cut. And she too has no issues. Still, there is an army of issues, their issues and their issues who keep springing up like from an undrying, er, spring. The foster sister desperately needs her friend as front not just to save her own kith, kin and their skin, but to take over when her benefactor’s frail health fails further. Not reachable, eh? That’s an understatement. ‘Imprisoned’ may be a tad too much. Invisible would be apt. That’s how God runs/ruins this world, no? And remains an enigma. So with Amma.
Well, if lack of visibility is a problem with J, the trouble with Captain is his visibility. By geometry, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line; not with Captain who is all wavery till he reaches some Front from wherever he started. Now, if the People’s Welfare Front says the Captain has joined its Front, the Captain will fume like Narasimha at the affront. So it has to be Captain’s Front. Really? His better ‘half’ who knows the perils to party and people of parading her partner at the front is unlikely to give him any ‘quarter’. If indeed by some perverse providence the third front becomes first, we know who will be the in forefront of the Front of four with a non-playing Captain. Now, why do you stare at me as if I am tight to the brim for suggesting that we might actually be voting for Stalin or Sasikala or Premalatha? I will buy you a drink if I am wrong.
You get dizzier if you gaze at the political space replete with criss-crossing junk, all trying to attract and get attached to any of the main groups. Italian National Congress will turn Rome Alone and has to roam alone if it remains touchy with numbers. Forget winning 234 seats, BJP first needs 234 candidates. Anbumani is already CM in his reckoning and he is serious .. no, no, he says he hates liquor. April Fools day is heralded by fooling friendly parties on seat-sharing as a prelude to fooling people with their own money. The political din, aided today by memes and myriad tech tools, is already high and heady, even before actual campaign.
Now do we need tequila shots or plain arrack to get the kicks? Here in floating TN, just seeing and listening are enough for one to stagger and swagger.
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